IMPORTANCE OF JOURNALING THROUGH GRIEF...

When I lost my hubby last January 26th, I tried to cope alone and by March I needed something more.  So I signed up with the Funeral Home that took care of my hubby and I started to get Daily Affirmations in my e-mail to help me through the grief process.  I found it most comforting and was certainly helpful in changing my attitude and state of mind.  I kept a journal of the entries every day ( they will send 365 days of affirmations unless you tell them to end it).  Below is Day #177.  I like it and decided to share today's.  In journaling, I also added pictures, drawings.  I used a primer notebook with lines on half the page to write and the upper blank so I could add whatever. 

Look to the Horizon - Day #177 Remember the good times; cherish the memories, but live each day moving forward. Focus your thoughts on what is before you and how you are going to get there. "I often tell people that there are three stages you need to think about: You can't go back. You can't stay here. You must go forward," says Dr. Ray Pritchard. "There may be some good things in the past that you wish you could go back to, but in the end you have to let those go." Quotation for the Day “I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.” - Margaret Mitchell
There really is no place to go but forward in your grief process.  You cannot regain the past or change any of the things God had planned for your life.  All things happen for a reason and since we cannot know God's mind and why this or that happens, we still concede that God in his wisdom holds the ship's wheel in the sea of life we travel.  Sometimes, I still get a rush of adrenalin at the realization that Bill is gone, like when I see a picture of him from just last year where he looked so well despite the 7 yrs. of fighting Multiple Myeloma.   Bill's 72nd Birthday It has been a hard road to admission.  At first I surrounded myself with his pictures that I kissed each night before going to bed and his urn on the dresser, I did the same.  I had a pendant made from his thumbprint that I wear every day.  My doctor said I was compensating.  Now after 10 mos. I have stopped some of these little practices that had brought me comfort in the beginning. In God is my strength and though I sometimes feel like life alone is not worth living, God speaks to my heart and I go on.  I am looking forward to the birth of our first Great Grandchild who incidentally is due the day after the anniversary of Bill's passing-what a blessing!  It will be a little girl.  Something wonderful to look forward to.  It is said that for every death there is a new life and the saying is coming true. Are you going through a loss of a loved one?  Share how you felt and how you feel now.  Writing or drawing your experiences will relieve some of the burden you bear.

                My heart to yours....

Still struggling with loss...

I am still struggling with the loss of my beloved Bill.  Sometimes, it seems to be getting better and then I hit a slump where I miss his presence so much, I can hardly stand it.  I know he is with the Lord and not suffering any longer but when you have been a caretaker for 7 years, it is quite disconcerting when you feel you no longer have a purpose in life.

I find it hard to fit in anywhere now that I am one.  God is providing much for me...work, earnings and sustaining me just as he always has.  But my feelings of loneliness are quite overwhelming at times and I break down.  All this is normal in the healing process of losing a loved one but even though we know and understand the process, it does not make it any easier.  I keep as busy as I can and I love gardening and picked my first tomato from the vine on Sunday!  


Today, I did not have to work so I decorated the front of the house with flags and red, white and blue flowers.  I am slowly getting back into reading again and am enjoying a new book and of course never get tired of reading the Bible.  


I find myself thinking a lot on our role as servants of the Lord and want to serve wherever God would use me.  I am most gratified when serving others for good.  (References 2 Cor 4:5, Philippians 6-7, Mark 9:35, 1 Peter 4:10 and John 15:12-13)

How are you handling your losses?  I hope you are getting out and about and serving the Lord in some capacity.  Sometimes, it is as simple as sharing a favorite dish that you cook with neighbors.  Do whatever you can to help others and in the same way, you also help yourself.  I am still taking one day at a time..... as the song says.


Much love to my faithful followers.  I am hoping to get back into the habit of posting more.  Thank you.

My Christian Heart to yours...